TTFN
by KLCM1
Summary: Garcia attempts to keep Emily updated on the lives of the BAU from afar.
1. How to Make Friends and Alienate People

**AN 1: I wanted this to be just the texts but that isn't allowed here. I added a little more about their thoughts & actions as they are texting back & forth. Garcia's text are in italics to make it a little easier to tell who is who.  
**

 **AN 2: The current chapters take us up to the end of season 11. If season 12 allows, I will add more. In the mean time I will be fixing some formatting errors and cleaning some things up.**

 **AN 3: Thank you for all the reviews! Someone was commenting that the chapters were sad, I think poignant might be the better word choice. They are talking about big events and missing each other. Also, I'd like to think there are some really funny bits in there. HAPPY READING!**

* * *

Emily was settling into her arm chair with book and a glass of wine. It was the first night in a week that she got done with work early, or at least early by her standards. Just as she got comfortable her phone beeped. Letting out a groan she looked at the display. Garcia.

 _ **Teach me how to make new friends.**_

Emily narrowed her eyes at the screen a little confused at the request. She quickly typed out a response.

 **I'm not exactly the best person to ask. Maybe JJ can help you.**

Within seconds came a reply.

 _ **You moved around a lot. You must have some skills.**_

Emily gave a small chuckle. Garcia had more faith in her skills than she did.

 **You saw my yearbook photo. Did I look like I was interested in making friends?**

 **What is this about?**

She could tell Garcia was hesitant to reply.

 _ **I don't how to make friends with the new agent.**_

She decided to try offering some advice.

 **Find something in common?**

It was a lame suggestion, she knew it was.

 _ **She's a linguistics professor.**_

 _ **She talks like Reid when we all try to ignore him.**_

 _ **And she's older so it's not like we're going to the bar or shopping together any time soon.**_

Ahhh, there it is. This lady is smart.

 **Are you afraid you won't seem so smart with another genius around?**

Once again, Garcia hesitated to respond.

 _ **Kinda, her and boy genius are already BFFs.**_

Garcia didn't really need help with this, she just needed time

 **Just breath Garcia. I'm sure in a few weeks you'll get along.**

 **You know you don't need to be BFFs with everyone right?**

 **Maybe she'll just be a friendly coworker. That is allowed to happen.**

Garcia sent back rapid fire responses.

 _ **Not in my world. The BAU is a family**_

 _ **And I HATE change!**_

 ** _Speaking of change how is the other side of the pond?_ **

A wistful smile crossed her face as she typed back.

 **A little less colorful without you here**


	2. Home Run

Emily was half way through her pint of ice cream and chick flick when her phone lit up with a text from Garcia.

 _ **So somehow Morgan convinced Spencer to play softball.**_

 ** _Like on team. In front of people_.**

She let out a snort and pinched the spoon in between her lips as she types her response.

 **No way?**

 **You're taking pictures right?**

Images of Spencer trying to run in striped pants fill her head as she paused the movie and dug back into the pistachio ice cream.

 _ **Of course!**_

 _ **The whole team is coming, Henry and I made signs.**_

A pang of longing hits her chest.

 **Aww... family outing. I miss those.**

She's been in London for six months now and besides Clyde the only people she sees on a regular basis outside of work is the guys who deliver her Indian takeout.

 _ **Next time you come back we'll have a family dinner.**_

 _ **Any idea on when that will be?**_

 _Oh, Garcia_. She doesn't seem to understand living in different countries.

 **I've only been here 6 months & I'm the boss so I don't think I can leave yet.**

While she liked the challenge, running an office was not as glamorous as Clyde made it out to be. A vacation would be great however there was no way she was getting anytime off without spending weeks playing catch up.

 _ **Not even for a weekend?**_

She knew if Garcia had her way she really would be coming home every weekend.

 **We'll see.**

 **Plus my mother is trying to convince me to holiday with her in Italy.**

 **She thinks now that we are on the same continent I should see her regularly.**

That was the last place Emily wanted to go. London was about starting over though; maybe it would be a chance to start over with her mother too.

 _ **I think twice a year is a reasonable request.**_

 _ **Oh poor Reid struck out. Again.**_

Emily was very thankful for Garcia's particular brand of exuberance. It meant she got to stay connected to everyone at home.

 **For seeing you or my mother?**

 **Is Derek letting him play outfield at all?**

Garcia's response was quick.

 _ **Hahaha. No.**_

She should have known.

About an hour and a half later her phone goes off again.

 _ **Ok, were down by 2 with 1 out left. This is Spence's chance.**_

 _ **Whatever D told him worked. HOME RUN!**_

 _ **Suck it Secret Service!**_

Emily does a little shoulder shimmy before responding. Who knew the kid had it in him. He probably used some sort of sleight of hand or calculated the velocity or something to do it.

 **Give him a hug for me!**


	3. There's a First Time for Everything

Emily was in the taxi on the way to work when her phone beeped.

 _ **Can you keep a secret?**_

A loud snort escaped as she read the text.

 **I was a spy Penelope. What do you think?**

 **Also anyone you tell me about is miles away.**

That comment made Emily consider for a second how lonely she could feel in a crowded city.

 _ **Our young Dr Reid has a girlfriend!**_

Her eyes were wide as she gasped for air. He hadn't had any love interested they entire time he knew him.

 **He actually told you?**

She had a hard time imagining Reid confiding in anyone on the team about his private life.

 _ **No. But he asked me for the location of a payphone a few weeks ago.**_

 _ **He's also been acting real squirrely lately, which for him is saying something.**_

Reid is always strange. And technology adverse so using a payphone isn't too far out of his normal realm of weirdness.

 **So that doesn't equal a girlfriend…**

There must be something else going on here she thought.

 _ **He's been keeping things from us. I can tell.**_

 _ **And why would you keep things from family?**_

Does she know who she is talking about Emily wondered as she got out to the taxi.

 **Because he knows how you snoop.**

 **And how everyone treats him as a child**

Reid maybe a thirty something genius but in some ways he was still an awkward kid. And the team wouldn't let him forget it.

 _ **Or because you're afraid they're going to embarrass you?**_

Ahh there it was. Garcia's insecurity. For all her confidence and sparkle she really was a sensitive soul.

 **Maybe just a little**

 **You and Morgan give him so much crap**

Emily's mind went back to a particular case where Reid had trouble talking to women in a club. While she had to flirt with a skeezy pick up artist Reid had to pass out flyers with little luck. Morgan attempted to coach him through it. He ended being called lover boy by Morgan for a month.

 _ **I just want to make sure this women is good enough for our Spencer**_

Ha. Like Garcia would approve of anyone.

 **He is an adult you know**

She briefly wondered what it would take for them to see him as an adult as she sipped her coffee on the way to her office.

 _ **It's just so strange that he won't tell us anything.**_

 _ **He wouldn't go to Rossi's with us tonight. He had something "important" to do.**_

Emily got caught up in a case and had put Spencer's love life where it belonged, out of her mind. She awoke a few days later to another text from Garcia.

 _ **And now we know why it was a secret. She's being stalked and he thinks she's in danger now.**_

Emily's sleepy brain tried to process what she was reading.

 **He does have the worst luck.**

 **Are you guys on it?**

She knew the team would do whatever it took to help Reid. He really was like their little brother.

 _ **Like white on rice.**_

 _ **Poor Reid can't think straight.**_

 _ **And you know what is extra sad?**_

 _ **They've ever met in person. Just letters and phone calls.**_

Her heart broke just a little bit more.

 **Then get off your phone and find her so he can.**


	4. Grief Counseling

_**He still won't talk to us.**_

 _ **I have left him 8 gift baskets and about 200 messages.**_

 _ **Has he talked to you?**_

It was a week after the worst had happened. Emily's heart ached for a friend she couldn't comfort.

 **No, he won't return my calls either.**

Granted, she didn't leave him 200. Just seven. One a day letting him know she was thinking about him.

 _ **I'm so worried about him.**_

 _ **Do you think he needs space?**_

 _ **I'm not good at space.**_

Emily contemplated what Reid would need as she brewed he morning coffee. She couldn't come up with anything they could actually give him.

 **He doesn't do feelings well**

 **He's used to taking care of himself**

 **And he HATES when people leave.**

 **He knows we care. Just keep showing up for him.**

He really was a private person. And knowing how they fussed over him, he really wasn't going to ask for help

 _ **I feel so useless.**_

Emily let out an exasperated sigh as she read Garcia's text

 **It isn't about you Penelope.**

If she wasn't in a hurry she would call Penelope and just tell her all this.

 _ **I know but I want to help**_

 _ **And I hurt and I can't think**_

She really wanted to tell her _Duh, you hurt too, we're a family_. But that was still a sensitive subject. One devastated friend at a time was all she could handle at this hour.

 **I know, my heart aches for him too.**

 **Think about what he needs right now.**

 **That's support.**

For government employees that deal with grief and loss wrapped in red tape for a living you would think they would be a more patient bunch.

 _ **And our boy came back to us!**_

 _ **Well he's still sad but he helped on a case!**_

 _ **And he let us come over to help clean his place.**_

Emily felt a weight lift off her chest knowing Reid stopped shutting them out completely.

 **That's something!**

 **Had Hotch been reaching out?**

 **He probably knows best what this is like…**

That thought sent Emily heading to the roof to clear her head. They had all lost someone at some point. Her loss was still fresh for them, but thinking about the loss of Haley always filled her with a mix of profound sadness and guilt.


	5. This Time it's Personal

_**This guy is really starting to piss me off.**_

 _ **Why do all the crazies come after us?**_

Not exactly the way Emily wanted to end a long work day but she might get an entertaining story out of it so she replied right away.

 **Because we go after the crazies.**

Emily barely had time to close her door when she got a response.

 _ **Right.**_

 _ **Well I'm sick of them making this personal. And stalking us.**_

Uh ohh. This can't be good.

 **What's going on?**

 **This sounds like more than normal frustrated criminals**.

Emily poured a glass of wine and took it to her room to change into her pajamas.

 _ **There is this guy copycatting all the cases we've closed.**_

 _ **And now he's making it personal.**_

 _ **He sent JJ flowers and he messed with Reid.**_

What the F? They've all had cases that were a little more personal that others but not someone targeting the entire team in this way.

 **Is Strauss trying to help?**

Their Section Chief hasn't always been supportive; actually she had tried to sabotage them more than help. But there was no way they could ignore something like this.

 _ **She actually told us that this case was inactive**_

 _ **That was AFTER we discovered a warehouse full of our pictures**_

 _ **The last time someone got this personal they killed one of us**_

 _Oh_. Emily's heart sank.

 **Haley and Foyet.**

In their line of work they were bound to piss people off. And occasionally those people got out and came after the. But Foyet was the worst they've seen.

 _ **Or you and Doyle.**_

 _ **Or Randall Garner. He shot Elle.**_

 _ **At least Doyle never taunted us.**_

 _Double oh. Fuck._ Their team really had experience more lost than anyone. This wasn't turning out to be the light hearted evening conversation she was looking for.

 **Well not to your face. But he did to mine.**

 **You just have to be smart and make them use the team.**

 **Don't be me.**

Emily downed the rest of her glass and tried to shake the haunting thoughts of Doyle from her mind.

 _ **We think he's been planning this for a while.**_

 _ **I'm combing through old cases for leads.**_


	6. Moving On

**AN: So I had saved these out of order on my PC. Sorry for the shuffle.**

* * *

Emily had just settled in for another night of Indian takeout and a book when her phone blinked at her.

 _ **GUYS SUCK!**_

She chuckled at little at her bubbly friend as she typed back.

 **Umm…yup**

 **Who did what now?**

Knowing her she could be referring to anyone, from Morgan to an unsub.

 _ **It's Kevin**_

 _ **We were having coffee and we ran into Sam.**_

She should have known. He was a generally good guy but a little flaky, which works with Garcia expect for when it comes to talking about their relationship.

 **Sam?**

Things had been so crazy at work it was hard to keep up with Garcia's life. Especially when Garcia sent her texts about everything: cute cat pictures, pictures of Henry, full page sermons on how her latte foam looking like Madonna was a sign.

 _ **I told you about Sam…**_

 _ **Went on a few dates a few months ago**_

 _ **We met during that play that I did…**_

Oh yeah, that one. That play was creepy in that it hit way to close to home.

 **Ok, sounding more familiar…**

Something about cooking class and ukuleles was coming to mind.

 _ **Well Kevin kinda freaked out on me.**_

 _ **Like super jealous Hulk green**_

 _ **Which isn't fair because there have been a parade of women.**_

Emily felt a pang of solidarity. Been there, done that. Hence why she lives on the other side of the pond. Ok, so her situation didn't involve a parade. It was more the fact that she couldn't outwardly wallow.

 **Don't you love it when they don't see their own actions?**

 **What did you say to him?**

Knowing Garcia, Kevin was probably still trembling from the reaming he got. Especially since Garcia's threats could be backed up by special hacking skills and her own chocolate Hercules.

 _ **That he should quit being an ass**_

 _ **And support me**_

 _Isn't that every girl's dream_? She wondered as she finished her palak paneer.

 **I know you still care about him**

 **But do you need to talk to him about everything?**

Sensing this wasn't going to be a short conversation, Emily slid the bookmark back into Slaugherhouse5 and set the book on the nightstand.

 _ **He was my love!**_

Always the one afraid of losing people, Garcia often gave too much when it was appreciated. While most people would prefer the short and swift heartache of an ended relationship, Garcia usually took the path of slow tortuous friendship.

 **But he's not right now…**

 **Do you still want him to be?**

If there's one thing Emily learned all too well in the last two years it that no matter how bad you wanted them too, things just don't go back to normal.

 _ **I know that I miss him**_

 _ **But Sam. Le sigh**_

 _ **He makes me all tingly**_

She definitely remembered that feeling. It appears everything a certain handsome face pops up on her caller ID. Emily recalled a line from a sitcom she caught in a hotel in some random town on a case that fit the situation perfectly.

 **Which do you want?**

 **History or mystery?**

 **Excitement or comfort?**

Emily knew she wasn't really in the position to tell Garcia how to move on from a relationship. But it's harder to follow your own advice. And Emily Prentiss was never much of a follower.

* * *

 **AN#2: Clearly I am a Hotch/Prentiss shipper. I promise I'm working on some scenes for them.**


	7. The Other Hotchner

_**So sometimes I hate my job.**_

Emily took the bait.

 **What freakshow did you stumble into now?**

Sometimes Garcia's dramatics were just the thing to brighten up a foggy London morning.

 _ **It's not that, at least not today.**_

 _ **Today is gory but not completely depraved.**_

 _ **Yet.**_

That was one thing Emily didn't miss: the horrible crime scene photos. They still occasionally came across her desk, but Interpol was less brutal murder, more robberies and bombings.

 **Way to stay positive.**

 **Then I'm sure you'll better when the team is back.**

 **Have they let you down yet?**

Emily let out a smile as she thought about how well her team had worked together. She'd been at Interpol for a year now and things were getting better. But she doubted she would ever work with anyone as seamlessly as she did with them. Maybe it was because she had more people to work with here.

 _ **Once…**_

 _ **When you didn't get to come home.**_

Her chest tightened. This was not going to be a cheery conversation she was hoping for.

 **Oh yeah, that.**

 **But I didn't actually die so it doesn't count.**

Emily set her phone down next to coffee and just stared out the window. She slowly counted to fifty. It was easy to sound flippant when sending a text but in reality it was taking everything Emily had to ward of a panic attack.

 _ **Again, not what I was talking about.**_

 _ **They caught a case in NYC.**_

 _ **Well Hotch did because Sean called him**_.

 _The illusive younger Hotchner. Hmm…_ She thought as she went back to getting ready for the day.

 **Baby Hotch?**

Emily had never met him and Hotch wasn't one to share too much about his family.

 _ **Yep, and everyone gets to see him but me.**_

Leave it to Garcia to feel left out when the team was working on a gruesome case.

 **They can't be having that great of a time if he's involved in a case.**

Emily tried to focus on the tactical plans for the bombing case they were working on. All was going well until she got Garcia's next texts.

 _ **Yeah but TWO Hotchners.**_

 _ **Hotch can be really intense and badass**_

 _ **It makes imagining a "wild" Hotchner seem crazy.**_

 _ **Like Tony Stark but not as filthy rich crazy.**_

God love Garcia and her vivid imagination.

 **Come back to earth Garcia.**

Emily was distracted all day by thoughts of the two Hotchners. Trying to imagine someone as uptight as Hotch on the club scene or womanizer was impossible. It was the middle of the night when she got her next series of messages.

 _ **AND the case got sad. –er.**_

 _ **Sean's bosses were spiking wine with a MDMA hybrid & some bottles got to the public. **_

_**Turns out Baby Hotch was the one who sold bottles to the store**_

 _ **& now he's going to jail.**_

Wow that did suck. From what little she had heard it seemed par for the course that Sean would be involved in drugs but manslaughter was a different level. This had to be hard for Hotch, even if they weren't close, he was still family.

 **How's Hotch holding up?**

It took Garcia a few days to respond. Emily assumed they got called onto another case.

 _ **I'm not sure. We got a little distracted by the Replicator.**_

 _ **He killed Strauss.**_

There was only one thing to say.

 **FUCK**


	8. Can't Lose Another

One of the good things about her job was getting the office dirt before everyone else. But this piece of information didn't make her giddy. It made her nauseous. So she did the only thing she could to make her feel better. She sent Emily a text.

 ** _They might promote Hotch._ **

The response came quickly; she knew it was late afternoon in London.

 **Like a real promotion?**

 **Not just making him do everyone else's paper work?**

Garcia let out a little snort. Hotch did do a LOT of paperwork for others.

 _ **Yeah**_

 _ **To Section Chief**_

She was hoping Emily would tell her it's a bad idea, that it won't happen. Anything to calm her down,

 **Does he want to be promoted?**

 **He clearly needs some kind of recognition…**

 **but I always thought he would hate desk work.**

One thing Garcia loved her team was that they were all on the same page. She was sure she heard Morgan echo that sentiment may times before.

 _ **You do ok with it.**_

The tales she had heard from Emily about how different running an office was versus being the one chasing people down made her think Emily could handle anything.

 **But I'm in the field supervising and making decisions all the time.**

 **Do you think they'll let Morgan take over as Unit Chief?**

She hadn't thought of that. It had been almost three years since Morgan was acting Unit Chief.

 _ **Not sure. But our team needs stability.**_

 _ **And I can't lose another family member.**_

Emily leaving was enough change to last her a long time.

 **Penelope you did not lose me.**

 **I'm right here.**

 _Yeah, but London is so far way,_ she whined to herself.

 _ **I just hate change.**_

 _ **And what if the new person doesn't get me?**_

 _ **Hotch gets me.**_

While she may flirt with Morgan daily, Hotch and she have more of an unspoken bond. He doesn't normally respond to her comments but she can tell when he smiles at them.

 **More likes puts up with your wackiness…**

 _Emily Jane! How dare she!_ Garcia thought as she furiously typed back.

 _ **Emily! You did not just say that!**_

Emily doesn't normally give her crap like that. Morgan sure. But not Emily.

 **Because you're the best.**

 **I tease out of love.**

 **You know everyone on the team would stand up for you.**

 **He may not even take it.**

Thankfully praise was an easy way to get forgiven in Garcia's world.

 _ **Why not? He'd get more time with Jack?**_

Henry wasn't hers and she wanted to spend every moment with him, she couldn't imagine being a single parent and having to travel all the time.

 **He'd be in the same city true**

 **but he would just get more paperwork**

 **& you know how he HATES politics**

That is true, he did hate politics. He was a raging mess when Emily showed up because of Strauss and her politics. But he was actually really good at it.

 _ **But he's so good at handling people**_

 ** _And can you imagine how much more we'd get done with him as the big boss?_**

Garcia was already making plans for all the new hardware she was going to requisition


	9. The Big Man Upstairs

_**So we have new Section Chief.**_

 _ **Do you know a Matteo Cruz?**_

She was always a little suspicious of new people but there was something about this guy that didn't sit quite right.

 **Sounds familiar but I haven't heard anything.**

 **How's it going so far?**

Garica thought that it was a good thing Emily hadn't heard of him. No scandals and probably not as power hungry as Strauss once was.

 _ **Well he started today but knew who everyone was.**_

 _ **Even said Strauss spoke highly of me…**_

That thought still threw her for a loop. She couldn't remember Strauss saying a kind world to any of them.

 **Our Strauss?**

 **The one who tried to get me to spy?**

 **Who hated Hotch?**

 _Is there another one?_ She thought as she fielded a call from the team.

 **Which do you think had a bigger impact on her personality?**

 **getting sober or getting some Rossi**

Garcia let out a gasp at how cavalier Emily was being.

 _ **Don't want to think about it.**_

Garcia immediately started looking at cat pictures to get those ideas out of her head.

 **Too Soon?**

 **Poor Rossi, another lost love. Give him a hug for me.**

At least Strauss and Rossi seemed happy those last few months.

 _ **I should pay more attention to my calls.**_

 _ **Don't want his first field trip to be a repeat of Strauss's**_

The mortification from the memory of the Milwaukee case washed over her.

 **You had to know your mouth would get you in trouble one day.**

 **Wait he went with them?**

Thankfully the worse that has happened due to her mouth was a few more sexual harassment seminars. Garcia pondered getting Hotch a gift. She knew he had to be pulling strings to keep her out of serious trouble.

 _ **Yeah a local-ish case.**_

 _ **Some guy got lobotomized & was found wandering a bad area in Baltimore.**_

 _ **My searches are coming up empty, the guy can't talk.**_

 ** _Hey would you run this through Interpol, I'm getting kinda desperate over here_.**

This guy really was starting to get to her. She was good, if she wasn't finding it, it meant she didn't have access to the right systems.

 **Sure, my day is winding down.**

 **Send the specifics and I'll see what I can find.**


	10. Wild Horses

_**Don't freak out, everything is fine here.**_

 _ **Hotch collapsed at the office earlier and is undergoing surgery now.**_

Of course Emily was freaking out. As soon as anyone says don't freak out that means panic.

 **Do I need to come home?**

Emily was already making a mental packing list and searching for flights.

 _ **No. I just wanted to let you know.**_

 _ **They figured out the issue and it should be an easy fix**_

 _It's surgery. That's never an easy fix_ , she thought as typed back.

 **Is anyone with him?**

If Garcia says no, she really will get on a plane.

 _ **I'm here. The team is on a case.**_

Oh thank god. Emily could feel her heart beat starting to return to normal and her stomach unclench.

 **Don't you dare leave him alone Garcia.**

After everything he's been through the last thing he needs are more health issues.

 _ **Not a chance.**_

 _ **I'll let you know if anything changes.**_

Emily already knew she was going to be useless the rest of the day until she knew that he was safe.

 **You better.**

 **What happened?**

Knowing Hotch it was probably related to him being a stubborn ass on a case. Everyone thinks Morgan is the stubborn one but there were many times she had to force Hotch to get checked out. Emily tried to look over her files but kept checking her phone every few minutes for updates.

 _ **Scar tissue from his stab wounds tore**_ _ **and caused bleeding.**_

Emily instinctively placed her hand on her own scars. That was not something she was looking forward too.

 **Damn Foyet**

This man just won't leave Hotch alone even from the grave.

 _ **Yeah. Glad the SOB is dead even if it hurts my karma**_

If Garcia wanted someone dead you knew she was angry. She was the most loving and forgiving person Emily knew.

 **How's Jack?**

Emily missed Jack. She never spent a lot of time with him, but the few times they had dinner, just the three of them, it was all smiles.

 _ **He's with his cousins for the weekend and doesn't know yet.**_

 _ **Rossi talked to Jessica and thought they could wait until he got back.**_

Thank goodness little Jack isn't worrying at the hospital.

 **What about Beth?**

Emily really didn't want to know about her but she needed to know if she was there supporting Hotch as she should be.

 _ **She's on a work trip**_

 _ **Don't worry, I don't plan on leaving this hospital.**_

 _ **They'll have to drag me out.**_

She smiled at the thought of Garcia arguing with nurses. For someone who wears a lot of sparkles she could be vicious when she needed to be.

 **Keep me updated.**

 **At your word I'll be on the first plane home.**

 **How are you holding up?**

Emily knew how hard it is to be the one waiting for answers by yourself.

 _ **I'm on my second pot of coffee.**_

 _ **Thankfully this case doesn't need a lot of tech support.**_

 _ **This surgery is taking forever. That can't be good.**_

 _ **How did you do this the last time he was here?**_

That was a good question. Emily thought about it in the car on the way home. She had been a wreck waiting for Hotch to wake up. Compartmentalizing was her specialty and it took all her concentration to focus on figuring out what had happened to him.

 **When I got there he was already stable.**

 **I was more concerned with his mental state.**

 **Which might have been scarier because we didn't know what happened**

Emily gave up on making dinner when she burned both the rice and the stir-fry. Her mind kept drifting to Hotch and why Garcia wasn't updating her.

 _ **He just woke up, he's ok.**_

Oh thank God. Emily could finally get some rest. She had been tossing in bed for the last two hours.

 **Tell him I'm glad he's feeling** **better.**


	11. Sing Along

_**Please please please tell me that Hotch sent you the video he took last night?**_

Emily quickly checked her email to see if she missed anything. What the hell was Garcia so excited about at this hour.

 **Nope, no video here.**

 **Why is he taking videos of you?**

That really wasn't like Hotch. What were they doing last night? She thought as she packed her bag to head home for the day. It may have been a Sunday but the paperwork never stopped.

 _ **It wasn't just of me.**_

 _ **We all went to this old hangout of Rossi's to commemorate its closing**_

 _ **Hotch may have gotten Rossi & the rest of us to sing karaoke.**_

The team. At a karaoke bar? Why couldn't this have happened when she was there?

 **For real PG?**

Emily was already thinking of how each team member act on stage, what kind of songs they would sing.

 _ **So real.**_

She settled on the couch with a class of wine and some popcorn to prepare for this gossipfest.

 **I want all the details.**

It had been a while since Emily had a girl's night. She went out a few times for drinks after cases and there was a friend she met at her gym. They would get coffee together after a yoga class if Emily actually made it. But nothing like with Garcia and JJ.

 _ **I know we started with Piano Man and moved to eighties hits**_

 _ **I vaguely remember some rat pack covers.**_

 _ **Other than that it's a blank**_

 _ **Rossi was buying so I may have made some poor choices.**_

That Dave Rossi was both a blessing and a curse. You couldn't help but go overboard when he paid.

 **Like spending time with Kevin poor choices? ;)**

 **Did Hotch sing?**

Emily wouldn't tell the others but there have been a few times where she caught Hotch humming along to a song. It was usually in the shower or when they were cleaning up. Once on a long drive to a prison she got him to loosen up enough to actually sing along to the Beatles.

 _ **Unfortunately our fearless leader stayed in the background taping us.**_

 _ **If that ever happens you will be the first to know, after I recover that is.**_

 _ **I swear 80% of Quantico was there.**_

 _ **Reid is actually scarily good. His rendition of Here I Go Again was fantastic.**_

She wasn't surprised that Reid was good, she was surprised he even knew that song. They started a rapid fire exchange of texts. It was almost like old times. She could almost hear Garcia talking and laughing along.

 **Is there anything he's bad at?**

 _ **Physical Fitness?**_

 **Getting phone numbers?**

 _ **Actually Reid has picked up two girls from cases, one was an actress.**_

 **Oh yeah and all the prostitutes hit on him…**

Once again Emily was feeling wistful. She never realized it until she left but Reid was a steadying presence in her life and she missed him more than she thought possible.

 _ **JJ & I sang "tell me what you want"**_

Another memory hit Emily and triggered another round of belly laughs.

 **Her trying to rap is HILARIOUS!**

 **Remember when she sang Gangsters Paradise to Morgan?**

A cramp was starting to form in Emily's side from laughing at the memory. JJ put on a whole performance on the plane once to cheer Morgan up.

 _ **OH Blake likes to listen to rap, like the hard stuff, no macklemore for her.**_

That was a little surprising. But in Emily's experience music is universal and a great way to express thoughts creatively. She had always loved listening to the local music wherever she went growing up.

 **Really?**

It was the rap part that threw her. If Blake was as similar to Reid as Garcia said, shouldn't she be into more intellectual stuff like Jazz or blues?

 _ **Something about fluidity & metaphors…**_

 _ **My head is still foggy so I don't really remember.**_

Ok, now the rap makes sense. Good rap lyrics can read like poetry.

 **BTW nice job on sidestepping the Kevin question**

After ten minutes without a reply tried again.

 **GARCIA?**

Of course Garcia would ignore the question. That girl couldn't handle the heat. She would have to call JJ to get the details. For the first night in a month Emily went to bed smiling.


	12. EXs and Ohs

_**What has Morgan told you?**_

Garcia needed to know what Emily knew. Pronto.

 **Umm… nothing? What was he supposed to not be telling me?**

It wasn't that she cared that Emily she just wanted to be in charge of the story.

 _ **Just stories about my Pre-BAU life.**_

For the one who treats the team as a family the most, she really hadn't shared much about her former life. She preferred to look forward, not back.

 **Do tell.**

 **Finally getting the dirt on you.**

Garcia took a deep breath as she settle on her couch. She pulled Sergio into her lap for moral support.

 _ **Our latest case had me cross paths with an ex hacker pal…**_

She wasn't sure where to start so the beginning sounded like a good place.

 **Just an ex-hacker huh?**

 **Sounds like he could have been an ex-something else…**

Damn, profilers, she cursed. Sometimes she hated how they always got to the point before she was ready.

 _ **Maybe…**_

 _ **Gah he just gets under my skin.**_

Even thinking about Shane was starting get her heart rate going and her skin all blotchy.

 **Spill it Pen. If anyone knows bad exes it's me.**

 **He couldn't be worse than Doyle.**

She let out a laugh that made Sergio jump. Emily did have some bad relationships.

 _ **He didn't kill anyone but he is an arrogant ass.**_

 _ **He knows how to push my buttons and make me get all confused.**_

This guy made her head all fuzzy. And she hated being confused like that.

 **We all have people like that.**

Garcia took another deep breath and decided it was time to spill the beans. If anyone was going to be loving and non-judgmental about exes it would be Emily.

 _ **Before the BAU I was a hacktivist living in the seeding underworld of anarchy.**_

 _ **Shane was my equal in tech prowess. He knew how to make me feel loved & wanted.**_

 _ **Not just in a sexual way but like I had found my place in the world.**_

She blanket up tighter as she waited for Emily's reply. She knew it was early there, probably too early to be texting about guy problems. Garcia felt sorry for intruding on Emily's time like this. Rambling texts about situations she couldn't help with were probably not something Emily wanted to wake up to.

 **So what happened?**

Garcia smiled again, this was the one part of her origin story she liked. The part where she met her team and found her home.

 _ **Hotch happened.**_

 _ **He found me & saw through my tough girl façade**_

 _ **Then offered me a chance to make a difference in a more legal way.**_

 _ **I left and didn't look back. Didn't even tell Shane that I was leaving.**_

Normally Garcia hated leaving people behind this time wasn't any different. In hindsight she realized it wasn't the people she was afraid to leave, it was the fear of leaving something she knew. She had had no idea what working for the FBI would entail and that terrified her.

 **Just like Hotch, always rescuing people and shit.**

 **How did Gamerboy take it?**

She had to smile at Emily's characterization on Hotch. That was just like him.

 _ **Well as part of my deal this is the first time I've been able to talk to him.**_

 _ **He tried to tell me I sold out, was working for the wrong team.**_

 _ **Acted like he still knows me.**_

Garcia had to take a break to cuddle Sergio to avoid snapping her phone in half out of frustration.

 **I hate when they do that.**

God she missed Emily. She had a way of getting right to the point and putting you at ease at the same time.

 _ **I think he was jealous that I was actually doing something.**_

She thought back to all the things her and Shane wanted to do, all the good they wanted to bring by circumventing the government. Shane was running an internet café and she was helping to bring justice to the world.

 **Sounds like he was angry you left**

 **& that you no longer needed him**

 **How do you feel now?**

Garcia thought about it for a moment. A lot has certainly changed in the ten years since she joined the BAU.

 _ **Powerful. Vindicated. Happy. Like I'm home.**_

A warmth spread through her chest as she thought about some of the cases where she played a large role in saving someone. She thought of the family she found; her sweet godson & his comforting mother, her geeky little brother, her flirty best friend and protector, her cheeky uncle, her wild-child older sister with the restless soul, her stoic knight in an Armani suit. Just as she snuggled under her blankets she got another text from Emily.

 **I'm proud of you.**


	13. Fit for Duty

_**Can you have someone taken out for me?**_

That was not a message Emily ever expected to get from Garcia, especially during a meeting.

 **Ummm….are you sure you want to ask that via electronic communication?**

She had her fingers crossed that she was joking, but with her you never really knew.

 _ **Yes.**_

 _ **Morgan needs to go down.**_

So either she's just in a dramatic mood or Morgan really did something bad. Her money was on the dramatics.

 **What did he do this time?**

Morgan probably insulted her shoes or forgot to call.

 _ **Made Spence & I do a fit test for NOTHING.**_

Why did they think they needed to do a fit test was the first thing that popped in her mind. Silly kids.

 **He didn't get it waived?**

Why didn't they get it waived or talk to Hotch? She wished she could have been there to see it. The two of them huffing and puffing while Morgan doled out his brand of encouragement would have been a sight.

 _ **Oh he did.**_

 _ **AFTER he spent 30mins barking drills at us.**_

That sounds exactly like Morgan. What did they expect when they didn't ask him for help.

 ***Snort***

Emily really did laugh out loud in her office. By now she had learned to only read texts from her team when she was alone. It wasn't uncommon for a rouge laugh, or tear, to get loose when reading their texts or listening to messages. The first few weeks she wasn't exactly the example of a boss who had her shit together.

 _ **Yeah. Funny.**_

 _ **I can't lift my arms.**_

 _ **So about that hit?**_

Maybe if she just ignored it Garcia would forget…


	14. Don't Mess with Texas

_**I just shot someone!**_

That was not the usual way Garcia woke her up. What the hell was going on?

 **What?! How the hell?**

Emily immediately jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. After splashing water on her face she reread the text. This couldn't be right. Garcia doesn't carry a gun.

 _ **Reid got hit in a shootout.**_

 _ **He'll be fine.**_

 _ **But I was with him at the hospital in Texas while the team finished the case.**_

 _ **The whole sheriff dept was dirty and sent someone after us.**_

 _ **I stopped the first guy with Morgan's help,**_

 _ **I pulled the alarm to get everyone out.**_

As each text came in Emily's chest tightened. This really isn't the best way to get this kind of news. She couldn't decide if she needed to grab a bag or not. She couldn't think straight.

 **OMG. Are you ok? Did you get hurt?**

God she hated Texas. The only good thing that ever happened there was an officer's wife making cookies.

 _ **I'm ok, shaken up, but not injured.**_

 _ **We thought it was over after the first guy**_

 _ **Then a nurse came in trying to give him meds he didn't need.**_

 _ **I saw the gun & it was pointed at me. **_

**_I grabbed Reid's and just pulled the trigger_.**

Emily thought back to the first time she shot someone. It was on a JTF case in Turkey. She had been trained extensively but until that point she had handled mostly interviews, assessments and paperwork. Her second field op went sideways and she had to shoot her way out of what was supposed to be a witness interview. It took hours for her hands to quit shaking.

 **You did good. I'm proud of you.**

 **I know that's hard for you to do & see what the rest of do.**

 **You should talk to someone about this.**

 **Don't hold it in Garcia.**

Garcia was such a good soul swirling in the darkness of the BAU. Something like this could destroy her.

 _ **I try to talk to Derek but I get all weepy.**_

 _ **And when I get weepy I get all puffy and red and can't think straight.**_

Emily knew how hard it can be for her share her true feelings. And how the dark scary things make her all jumbled because she feels everything so much.

 **If you want to talk, call me ok?**

 **Anytime.**

She really did hope Garcia would call. She wanted to make sure everyone was ok.

 _ **It was easier than I thought.**_

 _ **To shoot someone.**_

 _ **How can it be that easy to hurt someone?**_

Sweet, sweet Penelope. Not thinking about the fact that that guy was trying to hurt her only that she hurt someone else.

 **The fact that you feel this way means it's not easy.**

 **It's like when JJ shot that guy trying to hurt you**

 **Sometimes you do whatever it takes to protect your family.**

Like run away.

* * *

 **AN: We are ½ way through! Posting is going to slow down because I have the rest edit and I really want to finish my Hotch/Prentiss story.**

 **And let me know what you think! I just started writing fanfiction in June after joining the good ship Hotchniss and my head cannons overwhelmed me. I try to keep people in character and as close to cannon as possible**


	15. New Girl

_**Since you refuse to come home we got another new agent.**_

Emily wasn't surprised that Garcia would be contacting her after she found out. It wasn't like she hadn't tried to get her to come back every time they talked.

 **Not you too. Hotch already tried.**

 **We skyped. He glared at me for 5 minutes.**

 **I think you're out of luck.**

The only other person who could convince, not threaten, Emily into doing something was Hotch.

 _ **Well her name is Callahan.**_

 _ **Some undercover pedophile catcher.**_

 _ **The guys all seem impressed with her**_

A sex crime background was always helpful in the BAU, undercover work, not so much. Things move too fast. Although maybe she would be a quick thinker.

 **Do I detect jealousy Garcia?**

Of course Garcia would want to be the center of attention. That would last all of five minutes, Emily knew, because that's all it would take for Garcia to like her.

 _ **More like I don't want them to forget you.**_

 _ **She is pretty witty and likes to joke around.**_

 _ **Morgan likes her because she doesn't just believe anything boy wonder says.**_

 _ **From what Rossi says she's got a bit of a thug side so he's happy.**_

 _ **She's a mom so she's already bonded with Hotch.**_

 _That's sounds like a good mix_. Anyone who can keep the guys entertained so they aren't bothering Hotch is a good candidate.

 **It's great that they all get along.**

 **Do you think she'll stay long?**

Emily put down her case file and looked at the pictures on her desk. Her eyes lingered on one taken at their first real "Family" event, the birth of Henry. Five years she spent with these people making them her family. Two years after leaving them it still hurt.

 _ **Do I detect fear of getting replaced?**_

Damn, Garcia could be spot on sometimes for not being a profiler.

 **HA HA.**

 **I care about who the team works with too.**

 **I just want to know that she's good**

 **and won't break their hearts when she leaves.**

If Garcia thought she was the only one who was allowed to be protective of the team, she was dead wrong. Emily looked up every one new member too.

 _ **Ah yes, because we can only have 1 resident heartbreaker.**_

 _Only because I know how much it hurts_ Emily thought. She couldn't imagine being Reid right now. He formed a close bond with Blake and she left too. How much more could one person take.

 **How do you like her?**

She knew Garcia was an excellent judge of character and would be honest. Also Garcia could be a little shocking at first, if you like her right off the bat, for more than her skills, then you'll become part of the family.

 _ **Well we share a love of baby animal pics…**_

 _ **But I want my family back.**_

Leave to Garcia to love the simplest thing. It made Emily smile and reminded her that they will be ok without her.

 **I'll always be your family Garcia.**

As much as Emily missed them and wanted to see them, there was something good about being in London. She was on her own as Emily. For the first time she got to be herself; not the Ambassador's daughter, not Lauren or any of her aliases. She wasn't hiding pieces of herself.

 _ **Then come home to me.**_

 _ **Interpol is international right?**_

 _ **You can work for them from here.**_

Again with the asking. DC was the first place Emily felt like she had a home after a life time of being a nomad but something was still out of place when she visited six months ago. And maybe it would never go back.

 **Someone else already has that job.**

 **And I get to run an office here.**

Only part of it had to do with her job, going back to the BAU would be a step down. Plus switching offices at Interpol wasn't that easy. But it would also mean going back to something she ran away from. And she wanted to move on.

 _ **Ok, go be an international woman of mystery.**_

 _ **Just be safe and come home often.**_

She may be alone in London, but she always knew where her backup was when she needed them.


	16. Toil and Trouble

_**Hotch is a saint!**_

Emily had just stepped out of a meeting when her phone buzzed. She quickly looked to see if it was important. She sent back a quick reply as she tried to leave for lunch.

 **What did you do this time?**

It was an hour later when Emily finally managed to sit down and eat something in between going over pending cases.

 _ **A few weeks ago were got to talking about Halloween.**_

 _ **He mentioned Jack wanted to be Darth Vader.**_

 _ **So I called my friend Desmond to see if they could find some sweet props for our junior G-man.**_

 _ **(his cousin has connections)**_

Between bites of her salad, specifically chosen for its ability to be abandoned when she needed to pay more attention to a file, she read through Garcia's replies trying to figure out what the alarm was about.

 **Ok, so you did a nice thing.**

 **Sounds like you're the saint.**

She tried to recall if Jack liked Star Wars the last time she had seen him. She knew soccer still topped his list. The newest movie was shot somewhere in England. Emily wondered if she could find some mementos for the boys. If she did Aunt Em would quickly outpace Aunt Pen as the favorite.

 _ **Yeah well I forgot to mention to Hotch is that Desmond is also Madame Bouvier.**_

The name was conjuring up foggy memories from a few years ago. The only solid memory was an acid green drink she now knew to stay away from.

 **The drag medium we went to?**

 **Definitely not his normal scene but that's not too crazy.**

Hotch is about as straight laced as they come but he isn't by any means closed minded. They've come into contact with all sorts of people; gay, transgender, those with mental health issues and more prostitutes than could be counted. And he's always been respectful and compassionate. She could she him being surprised but not offended.

 _ **Under normal circumstances sure, but the text I got the next day from Desmound wasn't good.**_

 _ **He may have made a pass at Hotch.**_

 _ **I hope it was a million times subtler that the comments he made to me.**_

 _ **Something about "holstering his weapon"**_

Emily immediately replayed all the suggestive things Garcia has said to or around Hotch. He occasionally raised an eyebrow but the only time he actually said anything was to redirect her enthusiasm back to the case. If he's not shocked by Garcia, he can handle anything.

 **So next time I'm back we're going to arrange a little "meeting" so I can see that.**

If he really was at outrageous as she made it seem, Emily would be willing to fly there just for that.

 _ **Not funny. He already thinks I'm a weirdo**_

 _ **now I have weirdo friends who hit on him & make him uncomfortable.**_

She wasn't sure if there was anything that would make Hotch love Penelope any less short of a serious crime. She could start speaking in rhyme and Hotch would only care if he couldn't understand the information she was giving him.

 **Hotch appreciates your uniqueness.**

 **You're never going to be BFFs but he cares about you. How can he not?**

 **& anyone hitting on Hotch makes him uncomfortable.**

Emily chuckled to herself. Hotch was uncomfortable because he was clueless as to why he would get hit on. Who was doing wouldn't really matter.

 _ **Did I tell you about Jack's teacher last spring?**_

She tried to quickly relay these thoughts to Garcia so she could get some food in her stomach and get back to work.

 **With all we see & do, I'm sure he didn't think anything of it.**

 **Or at least nothing to be mad at you about.**

 **Just don't let him know what was said about him.**

Sometimes letting Hotch be ignorant of what was happening around him was best. His had enough to worry about with the team and Jack.

 _ **Could you imagine his face if he heard?**_

She could exactly. She could imagine his mouth hanging open for a split second and how he would try so hard to look impassive but his eyes wouldn't quite hide the embarrassment as his cheeks got red.

 **Yes, that's why I want a meet up.**

 **What if I come back for Day of the Dead party next year?**

 **Madame Bouvier would be perfect to have at that right?**

After a rough week having something this good to look forward to just might help her power through the rest of her day. Who cares if it's still a year away?

 _ **I love devious Emily!**_

She smiled to herself. Sometimes it was nice to use her skills for something fun instead of dangerous.

 **Ok so what about this teacher?**

She had to admit seeing Hotch in harmless but uncomfortable situations was a favorite of hers. The next best thing was teasing Reid.

 _ **Jack's class came in for career day & we did this mini profiler thing.**_

 _ **It was adorable.**_

 _ **Well one girl gave a profile on her teacher and her hots for Hotch.**_

Sounds like him, blind to something a child could pick up on. It was impossible to not like the Hotch though. He had tragic single parent thing to pair with his Ken doll good looks.

 **What did he do?**

A flustered Aaron Hotchner was by far the cutest thing she had ever seen. It didn't happen often, it was like sighting a unicorn.

 _ **I don't think he did anything.**_

 _ **The teacher ran out mumbling something about getting back to the students.**_

That poor teacher. He really was a sweet and gentle man but his FBI bravado was enough to throw anyone off without trying.

 **Man, I miss all the good stuff!**

Karaoke nights, Dr who conventions, teasing Morgan about his love life, they were all things she didn't get to do anymore.

 _ **That's why you should come home!**_

There were times when she was tempted. When the cases were hard and long that's she often dreamt of her friends. When things were slow that's when the loneliness hit. It sounded so simple, going home to her family. She knew it was anything but.

* * *

 **AN: So this had to be written. That opening scene was priceless. You could see the awkwardness on Hotch's face when they shook hands as he left. He didn't seem phased by the the rest of the encounter just when he was being hit on. Pairing that with how nervous he was with Beth, it made sense to go with him being uncomfortable with attention.**


	17. Get Your (Right Hand) Man Back

_**It's all clear. You can come home now.**_

Garcia hoped by telling her this Emily would come back to them. It's really the only reason why she would stay away so long.

 **?**

Garcia was sitting on her couch catching up on obscure anime shows when she got the urge to check up on the team, past and present. Every once in awhile she gets this feeling that not all is well with someone. So she runs some traces on their activity and who might be watching that as well. That's how she found out.

 _ **No need to hide in London anymore.**_

Emily could be stubborn. _How long would she deny it?_ she wondered. If she was one hundred percent positive she would have made Morgan a bet. But since this doesn't involve just Emily she decided to keep it too herself.

 **What am I hiding from?**

Ok, time to lay it out. Garcia felt a flutter in her chest. The only other time she gets this much adrenaline is when she's multi-agency-taskforcing.

 _ **Your feelings, namely feelings for Hotch.**_

As soon as she hit send she starting tracking the time to see how fast she denies it.

 **What are you on Garcia?**

Only forty-five seconds, someone has thought about her response before.

 _ **Clearly the right path…**_

 _ **You can't lie to me.**_

If she was doing this face to face she knew Emily would be letting out a big sigh and starting to chew on her thumb. Classic Emily stress maneuvers.

 **Did you discuss your theory with anyone?**

 **If you did you are so dead.**

HAHA. Yeah right.

 _ **Bring it. I can take you…**_

Emily may have been a field agent but she has powers of persuasion and Morgan as back up.

 **If by take you mean hide then sure, I'll give you that.**

 _Oh, that's true._ If she wanted to she could hide forever within the web.

 _ **That's right! You'll never find the Black Queen.**_

There was something about this playful banter that she missed. Morgan and her joked around a lot and she was still close with JJ but they were becoming more like responsible adults all the time. Reid was great for someone to geek out with. But a girl fest? She needed Emily for that.

 **Are you forgetting that I was a spy? An international one?**

 **I'll go Carmen SanDiego on your ass.**

Gulp. Emily could go all Jane Bond on her. In a physical fight her only hope was to distract with shiny objects and sweets until she could run away.

 _ **I've missed feisty Emily.**_

 _ **Bring that fire over her and get your man back.**_

She wasn't sure of the details, the whens, the hows, the for how longs, but she knew there was something going on between Emily and Hotch.

 **Even if what you're suggesting was even true, he isn't available.**

 _And it gets better_ she thought. Garcia double checked the search she was running for the case and made sure they didn't need anything t the moment. Her attention needed to be on Emily.

 _ **Oh yes he is!**_

 _ **I haven't on very good authority that he & beth broke up.**_

Garcia felt a slight twinge of sadness for her Bossman. Things have not been easy for him. She was glad he had been happier with Beth. But the idea of him with Emily, with possibility of it bringing her back, was too much.

 **Who's authority?**

Nothing so far had been confirmed or denied by Hotch, but that's not something he would share the group anyway.

 _ **Mine**_

She knew what Beth applying for a Visa for China meant, she also knew it was strange for Hotch to whisk Jack away for a weekend of amusement parks at the last minute.

 **Garcia….**

So what she does to track them isn't exactly legal but it doesn't hurt.

 _ **What? I may have found out she was moving out of the country.**_

 _ **On 2** **nd** **thought maybe stay away, he keeps making women flee.**_

She chuckled at her own clever line as she went to get more tea.

 **You've lost it PG.**

Emily kept dancing around her, not really denying or confirming anything. More facts were heading Emily's way.

 _ **I know he's the one you took you to the airport last time you were here.**_

 _ **Look I don't know exactly whats going on but there is something happening with you two.**_

 _ **You're all private looks and stolen glances when together.**_

 _ **And you NEVER ask about him.**_

You would think for being around profilers those two would be a little more subtle with their angst and admiration.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for all the follows. I'm glad you guys like these little scenarios that popped into my head.**

 **AN2: Bonus points for getting the title reference**

 **Meowser – sorry no more Kate. I tried to stick to big and Garcia related things. By 'entertaining' I was thinking she would prevent them from starting more prank wars or maybe give Rossi someone else to (tease) share his wisdom with so Hotch can do his job. I agree that she fit in really well with the team but overall wasn't too memorable, maybe because her story line was focused on Meg. Maybe JLH will join A'isha and Paget in season 12 so we get to see more of her.**

 **Julia – I think Blake was a good colleague but she didn't really connect with anyone but Reid, Kate had the potential to be more if she stayed longer.**


	18. Well That's One Way to Find Out

_**So we thought Rossi had a crazy stalker fan.**_

Emily was winding down for the day when the text came in. Each day was a toss-up. Would Garcia be her wakeup call or her bedtime story. The good ones came near the end of the day.

 **Not surprising…**

She was honestly surprised he didn't have more. Millions in the bank and a playboy reputation had to attract a lot of people. Maybe the fact that he carried a gun scared off the less crazy ones.

 _ **Turns out he has a daughter!**_

Perpetually childless Rossi actually has a daughter?

 **What the hell?**

Well it was bound to happen at some point. Emily was sure Reid had statistics tucked away in his brain about contraceptive failure rates.

 _ **That's what I said!**_

This snapped Emily out off her sleepiness. She was in full gossip mode now. If JJ wasn't on a case she would make this a conference call.

 **From which wife?**

 **Ohh I bet it wasn't even from one of them!**

Three wives wasn't enough, he probably had many dalliances over the years.

 _ **Actually #2, the French diplomat.**_

 _ **Apparently the daughter is a crime reporter.**_

Emily wondered if anyone but Hotch knew about all off Rossi's wives. Carolyn was the only one he ever spoke off but that was because she came back into his life in the most tragic of ways.

 **Sounds about right.**

Of course the daughter of a diplomat and a FBI agent would want to talk about the impact of crime on our lives.

 _ **And she has a son.**_

Oh this is getting even better! Emily went to get her emergency stash of chocolate and a glass of wine to enjoy with this story.

 **How his he holding up learning he is a dad & a granddad all in one day?**

 **Are you calling him gramps yet?**

 **DO IT!**

Emily couldn't wait to call him that. She was already looking up cheesy dad gifts to send him. She knew he would love it. He played it off like having kids would have gotten in the way of his career but they way he took to all of them shows that he wonders what he missed out on.

 _ **Great! He's taking time off to visit.**_

It's about time. He hardly takes a vacation.

 **I bet all his time with Jack is going to pay off.**

She flashed back to the worst hangover of her life. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't promised to watch Hotch drag himself across the finish line. While Emily did try to block out most the screaming she caught a few cute moments. Jack was on Morgan's shoulders asking his 'uncle' Dave about his dad. He was such a natural.

 _ **Let's face it. He went into Dad mode about 6 months after he came back.**_

 _ **Someone had to keep you children in line.**_

Emily gave a loud snort, spraying wine on her new cat, Vonnegut. He didn't look too happy with his new mom.

 **I think you mean someone had to keep you and Morgan in line.**

 **You know he did a perfect dad version of "Emily" once.**

 **I thought I was 16 again for a second.**

If there was anyone who needed help to stay in line it was them. With her, he taught her how to skirt the line. They bounced cheeky remarks of each other with ease. When one had landed a good line, the other gave a nod of appreciation. It was their unspoken game.

 _ **Oh he's done that to me too! It's scary.**_

 _ **It rivals all the times Hotch does it to Reid.**_

Poor Reid, always the eager over-sharer of the group. She knew they all enjoyed it; it was how he connected with them. Giving them random tidbits he thought would be helpful, even if they really weren't,

 **lol. You know I've tried that with some of my new agents.**

 **Works like a charm!**

It really did work. Find the right tone and their name becomes a warning that even the most stubborn can't ignore.

 _ **I just hope this means we still get time with him**_

It was something they all had in common, except Morgan, the lack of a close family. They had found it in each other. Emily understood her worry that he wouldn't need them anymore.

 **He discovered a new part of his family**

 **He didn't replace the one he already has**

 **It's just more people in his life, that's a good thing.**

Emily liked the idea that even though she's not around he found his actual daughter and can build a relationship. It makes her happy that he got to hone his dad skills on her.


	19. One of Our Own

_**Are you in a quiet place?**_

 _ **I have some news for you.**_

For once Garcia caught Emily has she was getting ready to go out with friends. Non-work related friends.

 **Good or bad?**

 **What's going on?**

It what unusual for Garcia to ease her way into things, so on normal persons scale this was probably a 6. Important but not pressing. There is no way to use a scale with Garcia, she texts with the same enthusiasm whether someone got shot or someone took the last scone. It just depends on her mood.

 _ **Gideon was murdered.**_

Oh wow, a part of Emily had forgotten about him. They weren't on the team together long and he didn't open up much.

 **Are you on the case?**

Part of her wanted to ask how, but she really didn't want to remember him that way. Instead she would think of chess matches and black and white films.

 _ **Yeah, JJ and I are at his cabin now**_

 _ **From what we've made out it looks like he got a lead on an old case**_

Emily had heard the story about Ryan coming back for a case he had obsessed over for ten years and she knew that's what drove Rossi's return as well. Was this so engrained in them that they would never escape the monsters?

 **What has he been doing for the last seven years?**

Gideon had left with a note to Spencer and not much else. He didn't leave any contact info or clue as to what he was going to do.

 _ **Sampling every diner milkshake on the Eastern Seaboard.**_

 _ **Just driving all the back roads and staying away from anyone.**_

She chuckled a little as she pinned back her hair, Gideon did love a good old school diner.

 **Are you all ok?**

Even though no one had spoken to him in years this was still a shock; and the rest of them knew him better than she did.

 _ **Ask again next week.**_

 _ **Right now they're all focused on finding this guy.**_

Emily didn't have time to ask about details but she hoped they didn't let grief put them in danger.

 **Keep an eye on Reid**

 **Rossi too.**

Poor Reid. First a letter and now no closure. His ability to trust and open up must be completely shattered by now.

 _ **Will do.**_

 _ **JJ and I are eating his ice cream**_

 _ **We've been here for 16hrs and are starving**_

 _ **Is that wrong?**_

She could imagine the two of them curled up with a pint in a place that was so Gideon it hurt.

 **Mint chocolate chip?**

 **No, it's fitting**

A warm memory filled her as she finished her make-up. That had been a fun night.

 _ **Yeah**_

 _ **His son is coming up**_

 _ **I think it's making Rossi & Hotch reevaluate things**_

 _ **They're extra quiet.**_

Once again the BAU claimed something else from them. It had already taken countless marriages, time with their families, their ability to sleep and for some it had chipped away at their sanity. Now it claimed another friend.

 **Give everyone my love.**

 **I'm heading out the door.**

 **And let me know what happens.**

Occasionally, on days when she was channeling Garcia, Emily thought about wrapping everyone she loved in a bubble to keep them safe. They were dinged and tattered enough, she didn't know how much more wear and tear they could take. But she knew they would keep throwing themselves on the worst of the worst to protect others. Those scars weren't imperfections, they were badges of honor.


	20. Yours and Mine

_**Have I told you about all the strange cases we've worked on this year?**_

 _ **Like straight up strange.**_

 _ **I thought we spent all year in Florida.**_

The team was finally having a much needed break. Well, if you could call mounds of paperwork a break. But they got to go home at a reasonable hour to be with their families in their own beds. It had given Garcia a chance to think over the cases as she scanned and catalogued.

 **Oh I'll so you mine if you show me yours!**

She knew this would be a fun way to chat and talk about their work without getting bogged down in the graphic details.

 _ **The Selfie Killer. #vain**_

 _ **This kid turned an urban legend into reality to make his friend famous**_

Garcia had liked working on this one because she got to flex some serious hacking muscles.

 **The Shakespeare Shanker (I didn't come up with the that name FYI)**

 **Lady thought she was in a play, left lines at the scene**

She knew she could top that with her own tale of royalty

 _ **The Princess of Death**_

 _ **She lured guys in then off'ed them if they were anything less than princely**_

 _ **Reid had to put a shoe on her ala Cinderella.**_

Thank goodness for Reid being so calm so he could save that guy from her

 **Why are literary delusions so popular?**

 **We had a rash of Bare Reflections related murders here.**

Garcia cringed at the thought of that book, she may be open to experimentation but some people took it a little too far.

 _ **WE DID TOO!**_

 _ **I'm staying away from ties for a good long while.**_

 _ **Ice Cube Cult**_

 _ **Someone was freezing people then dumping them in Lake Mead.**_

That one was just strange: a killer in a cult. It was like crazy covered by a crazy shell.

 **Snakes on a plane, literally**

 **Exotic animal smugglers who were really bad at their job**

Garcia was so glad they didn't normally deal with critters of any kind. Although there was that guy with the bug delusion recently. And occasionally there are some dead cats, which is the worst.

 _ **Mommy Dearest**_

 _ **The mother of a congressman arranged to have her daughter in law kidnapped for political gain**_

 _ **Then the son whet to visit her in prison!**_

 _ **She tried to use her southern charm to dupe Hotch.**_

 _ **That was fun to watch.**_

It wasn't that Hotch and Rossi enjoyed toying with unsubs…but that lady! If anyone deserved it, it was her. Seeing the smirks that passed between the two as they expertly lead her to the answers they wanted was oddly satisfying.

 **If you can send me the tape I will declare you the winner!**

Garcia pulled the clip off the office camera and sent it to Emily.

 _ **Done!**_

* * *

 _ **AN: This season did have a lot of strange cases but not a lot of story lines that involved the team, except Kate. And I couldn't see Garcia texting Emily about Meg or the trafficking ring. Plus the idea of them competing for craziest case was interesting. And they need fun things to discuss too.**_

 _ **AN: I also highly recommend rewatching Rock Creek Park for a- Hotch in short sleeves and jeans. Yum, b- awkward Reid getting a date, c- Hotch's smirk when talking to the congressman's mom.**_


	21. Mind Games

_**AN: Remember when I said I was going to slow down? HA, I decided to get them all up before I move. Enjoy the spam.**_

* * *

 _ **Emily, Honey, we need your help.**_

If Emily got a day off every time Garcia started a serious conversation in some cryptic manner she would never have to work.

 **You always say that PG but you seem to do just fine without me**

 **Also you need to quit texting me about all the times someone gets hurt**

 **cause I feel so helpless from across the pond.**

 **It just gets me all worked up.**

Granted Garcia tried to stick to the big things involving the others, letting them share what personal details they wanted with Emily when they felt like it. And she would rather know than hear about it in a briefing.

 _ **I'm serious this time.**_

 _ **This unsub did something to Hotch & he won't talk about it.**_

Emily tried to keep her calm. Their work was dangerous but it was like they were magnets for the worst of it.

 **What happened?**

She turned back to her files, trying to get some leads on this case. The trail had gone cold four days ago and everyone was working through the night. The constant buzzing from Garcia's texts wouldn't let her focus.

 _ **This guy was using psychoactive drugs to get into the minds of people & make them do bad things. **_

_**Hotch went to warn his next victim but the guy got there first.**_

 _ **We know he did something, but he won't talk about it.**_

 _ **Not even to Rossi.**_

 _ **You were the only one who could really get him to talk about this stuff.**_

 _ **You understand him.**_

After a few deep breaths she tried to process what she was reading. They messed with his mind? He was extremely private and hated to show weakness. It was not going to be easy to get him to share any details.

 **I can try, no promises.**

 **It's been a while since we had a serious talk.**

 **And even then he doesn't like to tell me about how cases impact him.**

They had been distant ever since the ordeal with JJ. Besides their talk when he wanted her to come back the only other call was to offer condolences for Gideon. Otherwise it was email updates on Jack or questions about the team.

 _ **I'm sorry Em. How are you holding up without us?**_

It was strange, Emily was starting to feel settled in her role. It was stressful but she was good at it. She just wished her friends were closer.

 **I miss you like crazy.**

 **It hurts every time I come back.**

 **I'll let you know how it goes.**

She checked the time in Virginia. It wasn't really necessary; her mind was there half the time anyway. Deciding that Jack would probably be in bed she gave a last sigh before punching in his number on her phone.

 **So I tried, he just shut me out.**

 **Said there's nothing to talk about.**

 **Did his typical 'I'm fine' routine.**

 **I could feel the glare through the phone.**

 **I think he's mad I haven't come back yet.**

He had never been so cold towards her, not even when she first started. She had been as gentle as she could be. He just growled at her. Maybe he needed more time.

 _ **Of course he's mad, he loves you.**_

Of course Garcia thought that was the answer to all her problems.

 **This again!**

 **So why aren't you mad at me then?**

If anyone was going to be mad Emily hadn't returned it should be Garcia. They were the closest.

 _ **Because I don't love you like he does.**_

Emily was tired and frustrated and now she was distracted. That meant she was in no mood do this now.

 **And what do you mean by that?**

This isn't what she needed right now. She didn't need to fend off questions about her non-existent love life while trying to salvage a case and worry about Hotch's mental state.

 _ **Well he's in love with you, I just love you.**_

 _ **Don't argue, Garcia knows all.**_

She stacked the files and headed for the roof. For some reason city skylines have always helped her clear her head.

 **Look, it's never going to happen.**

 **I live here, we have crazy schedules, he has a kid.**

She knew those weren't real excuses, just the easy ones. They could be worked around if someone really wanted to. But they didn't, it was done.

 _ **So you have thought about it!**_

More than she would like, but this wasn't about their fictitious relationship, it was about helping Hotch.

 **How did we get on this?**

 **We were talking about someone screwing with Hotch's mind…**

 **Just keep on him Garcia, don't let him push you away.**

 **And maybe try JJ.**

 **They have a parent bond, maybe she can guilt him into talking.**

Hotch needed a combination of gentle persistence and bluntness to get him to open. For the guy who ensures everyone else is okay all the time, he is horrible at taking care of himself.


	22. She's Marvelous

_**I still want you to come home but this new one is GREAT!**_

Emily was in the middle of her normal Tuesday night routine. Wine in one hand with a book in the other on the couch.

 **That's good news.**

 **What are they like?**

She knew how stressed they all were with only four profilers.

 _ **She's awesome!**_

This is the first person Garcia had endorsed right off the bat.

 **Do you like her for what she does or because it's another woman and you've been with the guys for too long?**

With Kate and JJ out of the office at the same time it was starting to feel like a "high school locker room" to quote Garcia. Apparently the guys got a little wild without a womanly presence to bring them back down.

 _ **HA!**_

 _ **Her specialty is forensic psychology.**_

 _ **She's like a serial killer whisper.**_

Interesting, adding another doctor to the team perhaps. As, Emily knew from her experience when she started with the CIA: studying someone in a control environment versus going off clues in the field are very different skill sets.

 **What's her name?**

Emily wondered if it was someone they had already worked with. Having someone who is already familiar with how things work would be good for them.

 _ **Dr Tara Lewis**_

A journal piece from a few years ago popped into Emily's mind. Dr Lewis was good that was evident in her way to figure out how to best reach each person she was interviewing.

 **Oh I've heard of her!**

 **She's interviewed some crazy, literally crazy, people.**

Compared to her the BAU barely talked to anyone. She spent months getting to know killers trying to figure out if they are criminally insane or a psychopath that snapped.

 _ **She was really quick on her feet**_

 _ **And she seems super fun.**_

 _ **Hotch had all the interviewees working on our last case.**_

 _ **She said she really enjoyed it even though it was a crazy 36hrs.**_

Emily thought back to a conversation she had with her mother shortly after she started at the BAU about how 'enjoy' is the wrong word to describe sifting through peoples' lives and dealing with the worst criminals have to offer.

 **Sink or swim, I guess that's one way to interview people.**

 **I'll have to keep that in mind the next time I need new agents.**

 **When is JJ coming back?**

She couldn't imagine what JJ's life was like right now with two adorable little boys at home.

 _ **Not soon enough.**_

 _ **She's getting in all her baby snuggles while she can.**_

Emily couldn't believe she was missing little Michael. She had a few video calls with JJ since his birth but with two little guys and Will back at work she hasn't gotten so much as a text in the last two week.

 **Oh Michael is soo cute, I would be too.**

Maybe a trip home was in her future.


	23. Scars

**So I've been seeing this guy for a while now**

 **& I'm not sure how to move forward.**

Emily had never been nervous to text Garcia before. Now she kept staring at her phone waiting for a response.

 _ **1 – it's about time you text me first!**_

 _ **2 - why am I just hearing about this now?**_

 _ **3 - good for you, you slut!**_

Surprisingly Emily was not expecting that response. She should have. Garcia loved to know everything that was happening in anyone's life.

 **1 – I'm a busy woman**

 **2 – because I wasn't sure it was going anywhere**

 **3 – don't congratulate me yet, that's why I'm asking you what to do**

It was a little embarrassing. She was a grown ass woman. A confident kick ass woman. And here she was nervous about whether or not some guy liked her body.

 _ **Are you saying you haven't sleep with him yet?**_

Emily wasn't a prude by any stretch of the imagination. She didn't have rules about how many dates she needed to wait to have sex. She also wasn't Morgan who had no qualms about bedding and forgetting.

 **Uhh….Yeah**

They hadn't even gotten close but she wanted to. This was the first guy she felt comfortable opening up to. And he didn't seem like he would push for too many details about her past.

 _ **Why not? If you're asking me about it then you must like him.**_

This was true, she only told people about two types of guys: those that failed spectacularly and made for a great story or those were going to be around for a while. She hasn't told any stories about the later type in a very long time.

 **I do, it's just that explaining my scars to someone is still hard.**

Even if they were in the same field where scars are expected, trying to explain the brand and Doyle was hard. She wanted to forget everything associated with her time as Lauren.

 _ **Oh sweetie. I understand.**_

 _ **Wait. Have you not had this conversation before?**_

She knew Garcia would understand. JJ would try to help but Will would love that woman if she started wearing exclusively trash bags and stopped showering. And there was no way in hell she was going to ask Hotch about that one.

 **Umm…no.**

It technically wasn't a lie. There was no need to reveal to Hotch what had happened, he was there.

 _ **It's been almost 4 years Emily!**_

 _ **Has there seriously been no one?**_

 _ **What have you been doing for you know, you?**_

Emily didn't think 'living off memories and batteries' was a good answer.

 **Guys who don't matter and/or were probably too drunk to notice.**

Emily wasn't concerned about guys for about the first year in London, not that she was ever too concerned about them. With settling into the job and finding herself again a relationship was not on her radar. But there were some nights when the loneliness and need overwhelmed her. She would find her way to her neighborhood pub on the lookout for a tall, dark and handsome man in a suit with a strong jaw.

 _ **Oh Em.**_

 _ **Tell me about this new guy.**_

 _ **Name? Job? How nice are his arms?**_

This new guy was different. Not that different. JJ was right: she had a type, the badge and gun type. But he wasn't a brooding or broken as her past love interests. He liked his job and was good at it but it didn't consume him.

 **His name is Mark, he works with Scotland Yard**

 **& he's like the British version of Morgan but not as sex crazed. **

**That's all you getting out of me for now.**

 **NO SNOOPING GARCIA!**

She knew given too much information Garcia would have his entire history in under minute.

 _ **Who me? Like I would do a thing like that.**_

 _ **So you and Hotch were really never a thing? Like never?**_

 _ **Not even one night of uncontrollable passion when he went to get you from Paris?**_

Part of Emily was concerned that Garcia quest for information on her and Hotch would lead Garcia to ask the man himself.

 **Wouldn't you like to know?**

It may not be a bad thing if she did. He would make her accept that nothing happened with them. It would be a lie, but she was certain that at this point it didn't matter. Whatever had been there was insignificant.

 _ **I was right!**_

She was, but it was more fun this way. And no one would get to know the details.

 **Uh were talking about a new guy here!**

How is it that even with juicy news about Emily's current love life Garcia always goes back to Hotch.

 _ **That's right keep deflecting**_

At this rate nothing would get Garcia off this trail. Emily was pretty sure she could marry someone else and Garcia would be looking around the church for Hotch to object.

 **If you tell anyone about Mark before I get the chance…**


	24. Name Game

_**Emily, I'm dying here. Entertain me.**_

* * *

 _ **EMOly PrenTITS**_

 _ **See what I did there?**_

 _ **You're an emo kid with a nice rack**_

* * *

 _ **Eeemmmm**_

 _ **Skeet**_

 _ **Skeet**_

* * *

 _ **S &M ily**_

* * *

 _ **Emily**_

 _ **EmilyBemily**_

 _ **EmilyBemilyBomemily**_

Emily was awoken by a multitude of text from Garica over a four hour period. Really she was shook awake my Mark who wanted to know why this Garcia was so eager to talk to her in the middle of the night. Clearly Witness Protection was not going well.

 **I'm across the ocean PG what do you want me to do?**

 **Also it's the middle of the night**

Now that she was up it would be hard getting back to sleep. Her alarm was set for another hour anyway.

 _ **Tell me a story.**_

 _ **I've been alone in this office far too long. I'm starting to talk to myself.**_

Emily gently closed the bedroom door so Mark could sleep in peace. She padded to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

 **What have you done so far to entertain yourself?**

She got situated in the arm chair with her mug perched on the arm as she waited for Garcia's text to roll in.

 _ **I finished my knitting project. I snooped in everyone's drawers**_

 _ **Watched all of Firefly. Rossi and I have played poker.**_

 _ **I had dinner with Hotch. Did you know he likes jalapenos?**_

 _ **I hid things in Morgan's office. Played way too many hours of angry birds.**_

 _ **I'm trying to convince Anderson to bring Sergio…**_

 _ **Do you have any blackmail on him?**_

A smile appeared as she imagined Garcia flitting around the office half knitted scarf over one shoulder with a bag of confiscated candy in the other as she simultaneously yelled at Anderson about her dire need for cats and extolled the virtue of all things spicy to Hotch.

 **Morgan is going to kill you!**

 **That's so sweet of Rossi & Hotch. **

**And poor Sergio!**

 **What about Sam?**

Emily waited a few minutes for a reply. When none came she imagined Garcia finally fell asleep. She got ready for her day eager to make headway on this case.

 **What to hear about my latest case? It's a doozy.**

Needing something to take her mind off the slow progress she decided to tell Garcia a story after all.

 _ **Did the always elegant Emily Prentiss just use the term "doozy?"**_

She really didn't know where her friends got this idea that she's apparently poised and has her shit together because her mother is an ambassador. The sheer number of times she trips or spills her coffee should be enough to convince them otherwise.

 **So that tells you the type of week I'm having**

There really was a lot going on: this case, her mother hounding her to visit, trying to spend time with Mark, she was worried about Reid and Garcia.

 _ **What me to run some intel? Do some digging?**_

While overall things at Interpol were running pretty smoothly, Emily would trade half her team for Garcia's ability to find information.

 **That's ok.**

 **It's not finding the guy that's the problem,**

 **it's getting the ok to follow the lead and put something into motion.**

Emily hated waiting, knowing that their suspect was out there walking free with the potential to harm someone else.

 _ **See? You understand why I'm going crazy sitting still.**_

 _ **What if we stream some Dr Who together & skype?**_

 _ **It would be like if we were together!**_

 _ **We can even get matching snacks!**_

Emily wasn't a diehard Whovian but it had been a fun way to indulge her nerdy side with Reid and Garcia before she left. Now it was a great way to talk about something other than work.

 **Garcia, its 2 in the afternoon. I'm at work.**

 **But if you're still there on Saturday we can do it.**

* * *

 **AN: The first part of this one was inspired tumblr post of things Garcia has called Emily. When I first thought about this project I imagined screenshots from Garcia's phone where Emily had a different name each time.**


	25. Master of Disguise

_**Did you hear about Reid's date from hell?**_

 _Reid had a date_? It was good he was putting himself out there more. Not so good that things hardly ever worked out for him.

 **Are you that bored that you're tracking the team now?**

As Emily thought about Reid dating she realized that she wouldn't share a bad experience with the team. They didn't need any more ammo. Only logical conclusion was Garcia stalking him.

 _ **Ouch! That hurts!**_

 _ **It was for the case to catch those hitman so I can get my life back actually**_

 _Ah so not a date._

 **Ok so what happened?**

Emily stretched and forced herself out of bed to get ready for work. Mark was gone on assignment for a few days and she would rather be in the office than her empty bed.

 _ **He pretended to be a skeezy pregnant wife hater and met this crazy at a restaurant.**_

 _ **She knew everything we tried.**_

 _ **About the wire, about back up at the bar, she took his gun**_

 _ **Then tried to bomb the place.**_

 _How did that plan get approved?_ She knew that Reid worked well under pressure and could handle himself. But the number of times that kid had been held captive in some form was staggering.

 **Is he ok?**

If she thought Reid had bad luck with women his track record with operations falling apart was worse.

 _ **Yeah we all came out fine.**_

 _ **Well besides the Muppets JJ used as a coat for her disguise.**_

Emily had to read that last line a few times to make sense of it. She still wasn't sure she understood. She tried rubbing her eyes and drinking some coffee to see if that would help. It didn't.

 **WHAT? She had a Muppet coat? A coat of Mupperts?**

Emily was starting to think that Garcia may be intoxicated. Muppets? She had to be missing something

 _ **Yeah, Muppets. I'll send you a picture.**_

 _ **Anyway this crazy was crazy good at reading men**_

 _ **She got Spence to reveal some private things about himself.**_

 _ **Also, you should call him up & chat. He could use it.**_

 _Well that wasn't cryptic at all._ She knew Reid had just come back from visiting his mom but she had no details on the situation. Emily punched a note into her schedule to call Reid tomorrow.

 **Ok…**

Emily thought about how much is sucks to be profiled by other people. Having your secrets exposed. At least when they do it it's to catch a bad guy and help someone else, not to use that information against them.

 _ **Anyway, Morgan & Tara were able to take out the partner & avoid a bombing**_

 _ **We got the murderess locked up & Miss Penelope can go sleep in her own BED!**_

Garcia was definitely drunk when she started referring to herself in the third person.

 **The why aren't you asleep?**

It was almost midnight there, still a little early for Garcia, but a more than reasonable bedtime for everyone else.

 _ **I'm at Morgan's with Savannah celebrating.**_

 _Oh goodness._ Emily hadn't meet her yet but from what everyone's told her, this woman put Morgan in his place and to took no shit from him. She must be great to handle extra-affectionate drunk Garcia.

 **Uhhuh. Just stay away from the wine and keep your clothes on silly girl.**

 **I'll call you tomorrow.**

Something told Emily that Garcia wouldn't remember most her night and would need help piecing things together.

 _ **I love you! You should come home!**_

There was so much happening to all of them, so many changes and challenges. The idea of a vacation was very appealing as Emily pulled out of her parking spot before the crack of dawn.

 **Love you too PG. Good night!**

Emily rubbed her aching cheeks and thought about how much she loved that crazy woman.

* * *

 **AN: This was the one that started it all! I saw a tumblr post about JJ's ridiculous undercover outfit & immediately thought of what Garcia would think. I could imagine her telling Emily all about it. And this project was born!**


	26. At Least it Wasn't Reid this Time

_**Derek got taken!**_

 _Fuck. What the hell is happening over there?_ Emily jumped out of bed and flipped on the light. It seemed that everyone but Rossi had been targeted by an unsub in the last two years. It's like she went away and the psychos came out to play.

 **Breathe PG.**

 **You need to focus so you can help him.**

 **How long has he been gone?**

Emily took some deep breathes to focus her mind. She didn't many texts about these kinds of things with her current teams, she only got the updates. And she didn't miss it at all.

 _ **2 hrs.**_

 _ **He was on the phone with Savannah at the time.**_

 _ **She thinks they drugged him.**_

She said a silent thanks for savannah being on the phone with him at the time.

 **Ok, then they didn't want you to know.**

 **He's got some time.**

 **He's strong Garcia, so strong.**

 **You can't give up on him.**

Derek Morgan was a tough cookie; he was well trained and could handle a good deal of psychological torture. She knew he would be trying to find a way out.

 _ **We think it's related to the hit men we took down.**_

 _ **Oh god, it's a dirty ops team!**_

Mercenaries are never a good sign. There was a chance he'd be found alive but in what state was the question. She couldn't think about that now though.

 **Focus and breathe Garcia.**

 **Work the leads, work your magic.**

Emily tried to focus on work. But vacation requests and budgets and appraisals were dull and repetitive.

 _ **We found him! They are on their way to bring him back.**_

A little prayer went up as Emily was making dinner. She knew they weren't out of the woods yet.

 **Let me know when you find out.**

Knowing she wasn't going to sleep any time soon, she pulled out some files and popped in a movie. There was also a flights tab open on her computer if she should need it.

 _ **He managed to take out his captures and relieve his burns.**_

 _ **But he coded in the ambulance.**_

 _ **They got him stabilized now but he hasn't woken up yet.**_

A sigh of relief left Emily. If anyone could manage that it was Derek Morgan. He was home, he was safe, and he was relatively whole. And by the sounds of it the bastards that did this are dead.

 _ **Told you he was strong.**_

 _ **We work with some badass men.**_

When Emily first started at the BAU she would compare the guys to Clyde, wondering if anyone else could make it all seem so effortless. But this team taught her how being calm and detached was only one way to be good at this job. You needed that softness that family provides to keep you going, to help you be strong.

 _ **He asked her to marry him!**_

She went back to her normal business for a few days but she texted Garcia regularly for status updates. This was not one she was expecting. Emily _had_ to make a trip home now to see the woman who tamed Morgan.

 **Hear that sound?**

 **That's single women crying**

It wasn't that Derek didn't want those things, he knew, like the rest of them that a family outside of the BAU came at a cost.

 _ **Bonus news: They're having a baby!**_

Emily almost spit coffee all over her computer. She had the presence of mind to turn at the last minute so she sprayed her pants instead.

 **WHHAATT?**

 **Are you just trying to get me home again?**

That is something Emily wouldn't miss for the world. She really needed to come home now.

 _ **No lie. There will be a baby Morgan.**_

Emily wasn't sure if the world was ready for another Morgan in the world. Either way people were screwed. This child would be the biggest flirt and have an army of protectors around it.

* * *

AN: Clearly I was running out of witty titles. And poor Reid, the number of times he's been abducted or shot or in peril another way is overwhelming.


	27. Sweet Little Boy

_**You know how**_ _ **we talked about you coming to visit soon?**_

 _ **You might need to come a little early than we talked about**_

She had just been there two months ago for the wedding. It was a short weekend and she didn't get nearly enough time with everyone now that the family had expanded.

 **Why?**

They had talked about another short visit after the baby was here. But that was still months away.

 _ **Savannah got shot**_

 _ **She's in an emergency C-section right now**_

 _ **At least they were right outside the hospital when it happened.**_

As if having the father of her child be abducted wasn't enough.

 **What the hell?**

 **Are they going to be ok?**

Like Morgan hadn't been through enough recently. He had been so excited about this baby when they talked last. Even though it wouldn't be useful for a few years he was already drawing up plans for a tree house.

 _ **It's the Montolo's out for revenge**_

 _ **We think he organized Derek's kidnapping too**_

 _ **The doctors haven't updated us since she was rushed in**_

Emily hated waiting and she hated hospitals, having to wait in them was her seventh level of hell. Being powerless to help a loved one was excruciating.

 **But Morgan didn't kill any of them…**

Most of the people that got mad at them were the loved ones of victims when things didn't end up how they wanted or if the unsub was mentally unstable. Usually those close to criminals, if there is someone, know they are a criminal. That's a risk you take when crime is involved.

 _ **But he was there when this one got poisoned in prison**_

It shouldn't be a surprise. They know better than anyone the terrible things someone can do out of love, grief and heartbreak.

 **I guess a father's love really can be deadly.**

Emily tried to occupy herself while she waited for news. Vonnegut was not happy that she chose knitting because he wasn't allowed to play with the string.

 _ **No kidding.**_

 _ **Baby is here!**_

 _ **Both are ok**_

 _ **He's so tiny!**_

Oh thank goodness. That new little family needed a break. She knew that the whole team would be there to support them. And she could only imagine how happy Fran would be to have a grandson. Sh'ed only been hounding Derek about for the last fifteen years.

 **Send Aunt Em a pic!**

There were so many little ones now, she almost couldn't keep up. She didn't really see any babies in her future, maybe she'd be able to foster one day, but for now being Aunt Em was enough.

 _ **His first name is Hank! Awww**_

 _ **They won't tell us his middle yet.**_


	28. Swat, Secrets and See Ya Soon

_**Em, don't freak out.**_

 _ **Something bad happened.**_

This wasn't the message she wanted to get in the middle of her budget meeting with Clyde. She excused herself into the hallway for a moment.

 **Garcia…**

 **We talked about this.**

They REALLY needed to develop a system or code word when it really was an emergency versus what a rational human would call an inconvenience.

 _ **Hotch got arrested by a SWAT team in his house.**_

 _ **They think he was plotting a bombing**_

FUCK FUCK FUCK

 **What the hell happened Garcia?**

Why would anyone think someone as straight laced and committed to justice as Hotch would become a bomber? It's doesn't even take a profiler to figure out that something is off.

 _ **All I know is Will dropped JJ & Henry off at Hotch's to take the boys to school. **_

_**Next thing they know guns were drawn.**_

 _In front of the boys? Did they think that would make him more compliant_? Emily wanted to know what idiot was running this show. Whoever it was wouldn't have a job by the end of the week.

 **I'm on my way.**

Emily had already turned to grab her purse when she looked back at her phone for to call for the jet. She saw the first of Garcia's rapid fire texts come in.

 _ **NO!**_

 _Umm… what?_ The two of them had just agreed to this thing with them a go. There was no way in hell she was going to lose him after getting him back.

 **Why not?**

Emily figured this was an all hands on deck situation. They had to have some pretty concrete evidence, even if it was fake, to take down a top agent.

 _ **From what we know part of the reason the DOJ was investigating was because of the not-so-by-the-book things he's done.**_

 _ **Like hiding you, going after JJ & Cruz, not looking harder in Rossi for shooting the guy who got Gideon, **_

_**We bring you in its going to look like we're throwing weight around**_

 _ **& they'll be even more pissed.**_

Now Emily was livid. She hated politics.

 **So someone got their feelings hurt that Hotch was a fantastic agent & upstaged them and the response is to arrest him on a bogus charge?**

This made no sense. Well it was the government so of course it made sense. But Hotch was loyal and committed to his job, the same job that took away the mother of his son.

 _ **We're trying to figure out who framed him.**_

 _ **I'll keep you updated as I can. I need to get back to tracing these emails.**_

Emily was pacing her office trying to figure out her next move. She wanted to be there helping but knew that she shouldn't.

 **Penelope, you bring him home.**

 **He can't go to jail. He'll be dead within the hour.**

 **You have 24hrs or any shit I gave about diplomacy is gone, I'm getting him out.**

She flopped in her chair. She needed a moment to collect herself. He obviously had no part in any terrorist threats and it should be pretty easy for the team to get evidence on the right person.

 _ **I said don't freak out Em! If you're scared then I'm scared.**_

 _ **Without Morgan here I don't know what to do.**_

Morgan always was a calm force when one of them was in danger. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes but he was a loyal ass.

 **I know you guys will work as hard as you can. You're the best.**

 **I hate being so far away and not being able to help.**

 **How are the boys?**

Those boys must be so scared. They are old enough now to know what was happening. Having the good guys arrest your hero is not something any little boy wants to see.

 _ **Will is trying to distract them**_

Emily wondered if she should call Will and see what techniques he was using. Right now she was willing to try anything to calm herself. She gave up on work and went to the firing range to clear her head.

 _ **Ok, Hotch is a MFin' superman.**_

 _ **He somehow figured out the plan as the team did and convinced the DOJ to let him go.**_

 _ **Then he showed up at the prison to save Tara from a gaggle of serial killers.**_

Of course he figured it out. Sometimes he really was a show off. Emily let the smile and warmth wash away the anxiety she had been feeling all day.

 **A gaggle? Really?**

Sometimes Garcia's use of descriptive language was a cover for her nervousness about a situation, a way to deflect what was really happening. Other times she really was just that excited.

 _ **Yeah, the inmates took over the control room & let them all out with her their wing, alone.**_

 _ **Like seriously if you don't come home for him, I just make take my chances.**_

Emily let out a loud snort, like that pairing would ever happen. The tech goddess and the muscle bound hunk worked well together because they both had big personalities that liked attention even though they had different interests. Hotch hated attention. Of any kind.

 **Glad to hear everyone is ok.**

 **And if you touch my man…**

Not exactly how she wanted to tell them they were together. They were going to wait a few months to see if long distance worked for them.

 _ **Oh yay! You two worked things out….**_

 _ **I'll see you next week and we can talk more.**_

Oh goodness, now she has to tell Hotch that Garcia knows. He might be madder about her knowing that getting arrested. Well, that detail can wait for another call. They have time. She doesn't plan on letting him go anywhere anytime soon.

* * *

 **AN1: That's it. That's all I have. There may be more depending on what Paget does for season 12. Thanks everyone for following or reviewing. I like fleshing out my head cannons but it's nice to know that other people find me funny (or insightful) as well.**

 **AN2: for those of who you are wondering, the new code phrase is fraggle rock**


	29. Fraggle Rock

_**Fraggle Rock! Fraggle Rock!**_

Sometimes Emily wanted to throttle Garcia. She loved her but, my god, could she be exhausting.

 **PG what the hell could have happened in the last 24hrs?**

Emily didn't want to think about what this emergency could be. She was too afraid that something had happened to Rossi. It seemed he was up next on the rotation.

 _ **3 successful prison breaks and 13 escaped serial killers**_

Oh Balls! This was really an emergency.

 **Fraggle Rock indeed. What you need?**

There was no way in hell Emily was going to leave them on their own to deal with this. She may not be on the team anymore but they were a family. And Emily would do anything for family.

 _ **You to keep your pretty self safe.**_

 _ **And then all these psychos to leave my family alone.**_

Safety first, always Garcia's main concern.

 **Well I'm way over here. I don't think they are going to target me.**

Emily was sure Garcia knew she was rolling her eyes at the over protectiveness of her friend.

 _ **But Peter Lewis is one of them!**_

Oh, that changes things a bit. Hotch still hadn't told her exactly what happened when he was attacked last year. She knew it was bad, really bad. But she also knew how Hotch likes to deal with things on his own. With how elaborate Mr Scratch's plan had been, she wouldn't be surprised if he knew about her. And if he didn't it would only be a matter of time.

 **When did all this happen?**

Emily wasn't involved in the initial melee at the prison but she was just coming down from the adrenaline high from it. She couldn't imagine how the rest of them felt having to do this all over again.

 _ **About three hours ago. Hotch and I have only been into it for about two.**_

 _ **We were all at Rossi's for a family dinner when we got word.**_

 _ **OH! We met Hayden, she's lovely but understandably peeved.**_

Leave it to Garcia to see the silver lining through this disaster.

 **What is being done so far?**

It had only been hours since the last crisis. She was sure they were tired, mentally and physically. They had to be scrambling.

 _ **Available LEOs & the National Guard are being sent to help transfer and guard remaining prisoners**_

 _ **The Fugitive Recovery teams are being mobilized nationwide**_

 _ **We're pulling files of all serial killers at those prisons to hand off when needed**_

 _ **Hotch has a good forehead vein throb going and has already made Anderson cry. Twice.**_

Emily knew Garcia threw that last part in to make her smile and explain why Hotch wasn't the one telling her this. He was in full crisis mode. She knew that once things calmed down she'd get the run down from Hotch. It had become a habit of theirs in the months apart. He always shot her a quick text with the basic overview of the case and location so she wouldn't worry.

 **Anyone else I should worry about?**

Emily tried to think of all the unsubs she may have missed off personally along the eastern seaboard. Most the ones that got that close ended up dead. One of the perks of sleeping with an armed alpha male: they don't hesitate to take out a threat.

 _ **I don't have a complete list of escapees yet but when I know you'll know.**_

 _ **Oh and that visit I had planned may need to be postponed.**_

She had been looking forward to girl time with Garcia. It was nice to have someone come to her and not have to only see her family when someone was in danger.

 **Since you have a good excuse, I'll let you off the hook.**

 **This time.**

She couldn't steal Hotch's right hand at a time like this. Losing Reid could be worked around, things would go slow, but they would still go. Without Garcia the team was lost.

 _ **Super secret coffee date next time you visit boss man?**_

 _ **If you can bear to leave the bedroom that is.**_

Emily _wished_ her visit could be like that. But there was an eleven year old in the mix. And even though the domestic moments she got with the Hotchners were bliss, she wouldn't share them with Garcia. They were hers and she wasn't ready to share.

 **Bye Garcia. Keep me updated. I'm off to work.**

She'd much rather work the case, or cases as it may be, with them. In the past few months she has been missing them more acutely than normal.

 _ **Stay safe, my love.**_

There was always something about talking to Garcia that made Emily feel like all was right in the world for a few minutes. Even though her closest friends were an ocean away she didn't feel alone.


	30. New Kid on the Block

_**So how mad would you be if I took out your boyfriend?**_

Emily really should have learned not to read Garcia's text while drinking things by now. Spitting her afternoon coffee all over her briefing files was becoming a common occurrence. Thankfully this time she was sitting at Hotch's breakfast bar and not in her office. Her flight had landed late the afternoon before and now she was having an early morning cup of coffee.

 **1 - We're adults. He's not my 'boyfriend'**

 **2 - He MIGHT be able to take you.**

 **3 – Haven't were already discussed leaving cyber trails?**

Images of Hotch standing there letting Garcia yell at him and pound on his chest filled Emily's head. He might just let her do it too if she had a good enough reason. Hardass Hotch was really a teddy bear. His son's smile, Emily's pout, the crack in Reid's voice, JJ calling him Aaron and just Garcia in general were all vices.

 _ **Whatever. Are you going to ask what your 'significant other' did?**_

They had already played this 'guess what he did' game with Morgan. It could be anything. But this time Emily already knew.

 **Tell you to stop calling him pet names?**

 **Didn't laugh at a joke?**

 **Refused your cookies?**

Hotch warned her about the cold shoulder Garcia was throwing his way for bringing Alvez on permanently. The guy seemed perfectly nice, but Hotch and Garcia had differently definitions of what made a good coworker. One was concerned with job performance, the other with how fast they could become best friends.

 _ **He broke the cardinal sin!**_

 _ **He added another boy to the team.**_

Of all the agents that had come and gone from their team Rossi had been the only new male. In YEARS. Rossi only got accepted because, somehow, Hotch convinced him that being a team was a good thing. His reputation, smart ass remarks and willingness to foot the bill may have played a role in it too.

 **Ok, new guy is not, and never will be, Morgan.**

 **Even if everyone likes him.**

 **You love Tara and she didn't replace me.**

No one could be Morgan. It took a lot of practice to be that smooth yet genuine. In time Garcia would learn that Alvez was his own person with his own role on the team. Just like Tara. They both had this fun older sister vibe but had different relationships with everyone.

 _ **True. You, my peaches, and my Chocolate Thunder are irreplaceable.**_

Emily thought back to a conversation with Hotch where she shared the same thought. She missed her family and how everyone had a unique job function within it. Not just in terms of skills they brought to the job but who they played within the family unit. It's hard to replace your big brother.

 **What would you do without the Brawns and the Boobs?**

Emily missed their banter. She wished she could clue Garcia in on her trip back to the states but then she wouldn't get any time with Hotch. Next time she would have to plan some girl time. It might give her something better to do than sit around the house when Hotch got called into work on a Saturday.

 _ **Use Blondie's blinding smile and baby blues.**_

 _ **Reid has also been working on his door kicking skills so watch out.**_

Laughter ripped through her has she pictured Reid trying to kick down doors and tackle unsubs. She couldn't stop the idea of statistics pouring out of his mouth while he did it. There were certain things that were so Reid that she couldn't see him anyway else.

 **I miss his rambling.**

 **Whenever we need to research something I turn to look for him.**

 **Don't worry, I've called for you too.**

 **My team thinks I'm nuts.**

She wouldn't tell Garcia because it would make her seem weak, but she often found herself listening for Hotch in tactical situations. He had a strong calming presence in intense times. She always knew he would look out for her and get them through. 'What Would Hotch Do?' was her mantra. And it kept her people safe.

 _ **Oh Emmy Boo.**_

 _ **I love you too.**_

Emily had gathered up Jack to take him to the park for their picnic. It was supposed to be a family thing until Hotch got called in. She was tempted to invite the others but knew some one on one time with Jack would be better.

 **Love you. I'm off on some errands.**

 **Please don't hurt him.**

 **At least not his pretty face.**

Garcia would be entertained for a while with that last text allowing Emily uninterrupted play time with her favorite little boy.


	31. Thelma & Louise

Emily took a break from packing up her apartment to check the text she received from Garcia. She was eager to get home and was having a hard time keeping the secret under wraps. She and Hotch decided they would surprise the team with both changes to lessen the blow.

 _ **I'm putting you in the Monday & Thursday slots**_

She thought for a moment about what Garcia could be referring to. Between cases, packing, transitioning, finding a new place and trying to coordinate everything with Hotch she didn't have a lot of time to keep up with anyone.

 **For what?**

She really was confused. Last she knew the team was on a second case so she hadn't talked to any of them in a few days. Even her updates from Hotch had come to a stop.

 _ **Checking on JJ…**_

Emily couldn't wait to get back to D.C. They would all still be busy but at least they would be together. She couldn't wait for Girl's Nights, team dinners, Reid's physics magic and adorable rambling. What she was most excited for was to be back in Hotch's arms.

 **Why are we checking on JJ?**

JJ was probably the strongest one on the team. And almost as private as Hotch. If she needed help, something bad must have happened.

 _ **Hotch didn't tell you?**_

Apparently he was slacking in the update department. Getting ready to transition must be taking up a lot of his time. But he also wasn't like Garcia, he didn't get actively involved in their lives. He was a silent support, giving space and understanding when it was needed.

 **No…**

She really wished Garcia would just get to the point. Emily was starting to get nervous about what may have happened. And the longer she waited the more wild her imagination got.

 _ **He suspended her.**_

 _ **Or he basically did.**_

 _ **He didn't really leave her a choice to take time off.**_

That information didn't really help. Emily knew from experience that Hotch would give them some leeway on a case that got personal but there were limits. Jeopardizing the case or the safety of the team would get you benched without hesitation.

 **What could she have done? It's JJ.**

Hotch and JJ had this strong bond. The only thing stronger was the brotherly love between Jack and Henry. She'd had always been able to get Hotch to forgive her for pretty much everything.

 _ **This case. It was bad and on the heels of another long case.**_

Garcia being vague was always a bad sign. When it was bad she was either vague or she rambled.

 **What happened PG?**

 **I need details.**

Emily had opened a bottle of wine and poured a glass to calm her down. The last time JJ was in trouble Emily had to fly home to save her. The team was lucky none of the information fell into the wrong hands or their asses would have been toast. The State Department was lucky too. If anything had happened to JJ, Garcia and Hotch would have made the Secretary's life hell.

 _ **New guy had to pull JJ out of a burning building.**_

 _ **She was so determined to save them all.**_

 _ **One of the girls died.**_

There were often cases where they couldn't save all the victims. Being too late always weighed on them. She had seen what it did to Morgan after her 'death.' That pain shouldn't be put on anyone.

 **Is she ok?**

Knowing how stubborn JJ is, Emily wouldn't be surprised if JJ had some kind of injury. If Alvez had to physically remove her JJ was putting up a fight. Emily also made a metal note to make sure that guy had her back in the field. Something told her he was a team player even if Garcia was making him fell like an outsider.

 _ **Physically she's alright, just a burn on her hand.**_

 _ **Mentally…IDK, that's why she has the time off.**_

JJ and Emily had skirted around her PTSD after Reid got the information on Askari from her. They didn't discuss what happened or how it was affecting them. It was more acknowledging that Emily understood the feeling of being haunted by your monster. They were both the type to handle it on their own, not wanting to bother other. But it was nice knowing someone wouldn't judge the self destructive coping habits.

 **Ok, put me down.**

 **I'll see what I can do.**

All the talks Emily had with Hotch once she returned had helped her, now it was her turn to pay it forward. Not something you ever really look forward to, especially with a close friend, but at least she can provide some support. In a week Emily would be home to help even more.

* * *

 **AN: This is officially done. Emily is back with Garcia so no more updates. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
